Don’t get caught in your dirty skivvies! What if your Friday night date reveals your Wednesday panties? Even if they’re clean, there’s nothing to say that can rid his mind of that image of you in your two-day old panties. Did your mother ever tell you to put on clean underwear in case you were in an accident? Mine did. It sounds a little crazy, but after my night I feel the need to pass it along. Don’t be caught dead on the way to the emergency room in your granny panties! That’s why you should wear your sexy lingerie at all times!
Last summer I went to my best friend from college’s bachelorette party. We had so much fun. It started out at her sister’s house in Odessa, Texas and ended up in the county ER. I’ll get to that soon. The party started great. We were all giddy like little girls. All the bridesmaids, family cousins, and even her aunts showed up for a passion party and one uncle who stood in the corner uncomfortably switching his feet. How embarrassing! Especially when they started to pass around the vast assortment of novelty toys. I think her aunts had more fun than some of us girls. We checked out all the fun items including sexy sheer lingerie! I picked out a couple of the bra and panty sets and was impressed with the silky feel and sexy cut of the design. We convinced my friend to buy her bra and panties to wear under her wedding dress and on the honeymoon. I’m sure the groom was happily surprised!
After the party, we decked the bride out in a condom-covered veil and got ready to hit the town. Our first stop was a local red neck country bar. Best of all, tonight this bar was featuring The Thunder from Down Under, a male review show from Australia. Nothing beats best friends, lots of alcohol and male strippers. We sent the bride on stage for a personal dance and a notorious pre-wedding shot, the Blow Job (topped with whip cream!). Huge Jackman, The stripper came out in his chaps, cowboy hat and leopard-print thong and ended up in a headstand on the bride’s lap. It was all in good fun until by freak accident he slipped on a fallen condom wrapper and landed on his shoulder. Cowboy hat crushed. Her face was so red. She was trying to keep a straight face or at least look appreciative, but how could she. It was her prophylactic that made him fall! All she could do was bust out laughing. We took all sorts of pictures, but the evidence has since been destroyed.
An ambulance was called right away and we watched Huge Jackman be carried off by the EMTs in just a neck brace and his leopard thong. We felt so bad! The club owners insisted that my friend get her leg checked out. But she refused. She had on granny panties that night and her mother’s words of wisdom relentlessly rang in her head like high voltage wedding bells. You never know when you’ll get caught in an accident so wear cute panties just in case.
maid-of-honor.
