When was the last time you gave an honest compliment to a woman? Longer ago? Then you are not alone. Many a man is stingy with nice words to the opposite sex these days. Often out of fear of a rejection or the worry of being misunderstood. But the advantages outweigh the disadvantages if you can bring yourself to say something flattering.
Why are compliments important?
Compliments are, in a way, the lubricant in interpersonal communication – similar to a smile. Because through a compliment you can not only express your affection directly, but also give the other person a gift.
Although men receive compliments much less often than women, you have certainly experienced what it does to you when someone praises you. You feel appreciated, a woman’s heart swells. The effects can even be measured physically. Because your body releases the bonding hormone oxytocin, happiness-inducing opioids and dopamine. By the way, this works even if the compliment is exaggerated.
How often should you give compliments?
However, the effect of a compliment wears off if someone receives praise for the same thing often and over and over again. This does not mean that you should say something nice to the same woman less often. It does mean, however, that you should feel free to be creative. Compliment her on something she probably rarely hears, such as her good taste. She will remember this much longer than a phrase about her dress.
Why are good compliments so hard?
The typical questions you might ask yourself:
- What to say?
- What if she gets it wrong?
- What is allowed to say at all?
- What compliments do women like?
It is said that a person can live on a good compliment for a week. It is the cheapest way to please someone. But why do we give out compliments so seldom? Why do many men prefer to say it through the flower or with a box of chocolates? Quite simply: out of insecurity. After all, it is not so easy to tell a woman you admire for something. It shouldn’t sound forced and you don’t want to embarrass the other person. In addition, we take many things for granted and therefore do not consider it necessary to say them. Example: Your girlfriend chose a movie, it was good. This would be the perfect time to praise her taste in movies: “Somehow you always pick the best movies.”
What compliments women love?
It must come across as honest and not sound cliché. In addition, it should be specific and not a sweeping statement like “You look good” – yes, thank you very much!
Also, try not to refer compliments only to a woman’s appearance. Praise her humor, the way she laughs, her warmth, her composure or her contagious optimism. Your compliment should be like the only ray of sunshine on a gray morning – she will bask in it and feel good all day long.
Tips and Tricks: How to succeed with a good compliment?
There is no general answer to this question, because every person feels flattered by something different. The trick is to notice the little things about your counterpart. Here come 5 golden rules for the successful compliment:
1. The compliment should stand for itself
You should never use a compliment to convince a woman of something. Example: “You have beautiful eyes. Would you like to have a coffee with me sometime?”A compliment should never be linked to a request, otherwise it loses its effect.
2. The compliment should not sound rehearsed
Sure, it is not always easy to bring a compliment over the lips. But make sure your words don’t sound like you’ve rehearsed them 100 times in front of the mirror – even if they were. Wait for the right moment and then let your words fall rather casually.
3. The compliment should not be interchangeable
Nothing is worse than a compliment that a man can give to any woman within reach. The more specific the praise, the better. Example: You have noticed that your colleague takes care of all the plants in the office? Then tell her: “You really have a green thumb”.
4. The compliment should fit the type
When you say something flattering, it has to fit the woman’s personality, otherwise you can quickly put your foot in your mouth. For example, if you want to praise a woman’s good taste in fashion and say “You could be a fashion blogger,” but she doesn’t like influencers, she might even feel insulted.
5. The compliment may also reveal something about you
You can also use the compliment to improve the bond with a woman. Example: She asks you to come to the canteen with the others. You answer: “Thank you for asking me. I would have missed it again. You are very attentive”. The compliment is well packaged and seems appreciative.
Conclusion: You can learn to give compliments
It’s not difficult to give a compliment – you just have to dare to do it. The good thing about it is that those who give compliments are more likely to receive them themselves. Important: Only give a compliment if you really mean it – cheating is usually discovered.
- 1 Why are compliments important?
- 2 How often should you give compliments?
- 3 Why are good compliments so hard?
- 4 What compliments women love?
- 5 Tips and Tricks: How to succeed with a good compliment?
- 6 Conclusion: You can learn to give compliments