How to solve the most common relationship problems

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Closeness creates friction, at some point the heat can turn into fire – and the situation can explode. Everyday life as a couple provides you with a constant supply of situations that lead to disagreements and thus to arguments. These are the 5 most common 5 relationship killers – and their solutions.

Relationship problem 1: “My partner doesn’t understand me or listen to me.”

All day long we talk to colleagues or strangers at work, but at the end of the day there is often little time left for talking to our partner. In addition, we men don’t like to talk our heads off anyway. But communication is particularly important for a relationship. To create closeness, partners should not only talk about wishes and fears, but also share everyday experiences with each other. There is really nothing too dull or unimportant here. Even what you had for lunch can be more exciting for the partner than you assume. It matters much more that you talk than what you talk about. The therapist would say: the most common misunderstandings arise from a lack of communication.

Solution: Create rituals. For example, cook together more often and discuss the day at the same time. Or go for a walk around the block together before dinner. Even if it’s hard for you, try to speak up and ask your partner about her day. So that you don’t give the impression of not listening, you should respond to what she says, echoing what she said. This way she is sure that everything has reached you and feels understood. Ideally, you should be genuinely interested, then it won’t seem forced.

Problem 2: “We never agree on finances.”

Money is either an argument topic in a relationship or one that you don’t talk about. Both are counterproductive for love. Think about the topic alone first: Are you really so far apart in your financial ideas? Often couples come together who have similar values. Money wasters and money savers rarely go together permanently.

Solution: Never discuss the topic of money in an argument. Instead, make an appointment to talk calmly about your budgeting. Explain your attitude to your partner openly and listen to her opinion. Look for possible solutions together and make compromises. If you can’t get off the ground at all, it helps to separate finances instead of keeping a joint account. One thing is for sure: money is really not worth breaking love over it.

Relationship problem 3: “We argue about the household.”

Cleaning, doing the laundry, washing the dishes – hardly any other topic causes more everyday conflicts than the household. The exciting thing about this is that it’s usually not a complaint about unfair sharing that’s behind it, but rather a lack of appreciation. This means that if your partner complains that she is always the one who cleans out the dishwasher, she is not necessarily saying that she doesn’t like doing it. However, she wishes you would recognize that she does it and not take it for granted.

What to do? Thank each other more often. That doesn’t mean you should give a thank-you speech every time your partner cleans the toilet. But if you thank your partner, for example, for doing the shopping or ironing, she knows you appreciate it. It’s so simple and highly effective!

Relationship problem 4: “Our sex life does not exist anymore.”

In many cases, the lull in the bedroom is not necessarily due to a lack of desire. Instead, you may have lost the emotional closeness in your partnership. Then tenderness becomes less and the desire for shared sex decreases.

Solution: It is not uncommon that emotional closeness suffers sometimes in stressful everyday life. However, you should not accept this situation permanently, but do something about it. Because sex that works is important for the health of your relationship. To get your sex life back on track, you don’t necessarily need to seek help from a sex therapist or pore over guidebooks. Re-establish the emotional connection with your partner, for example, through intense, deep conversations. Take each other in your arms, touch each other tenderly. If you have been able to re-establish closeness, it is helpful to make time for sex. For example, make an appointment or book yourself into a hotel. After that, you are welcome to let things take on a life of their own. 

Problem 5: “We spend almost no time together anymore.”

The job, sports, appointments with friends, children and other obligations – a week is quickly over and the time that remains with the partner is rare. Quality time together is the foundation of your long-term happiness. If your relationship falls apart, everything else in your life will inevitably suffer as well. That’s why it’s important to value the time you spend together. It is also a prerequisite for good communication and emotional closeness.

What to do? Take your time! If necessary, write the date firmly in the joint calendar. Go out to dinner or a movie with your partner, watch your favorite show or go for a long walk. Very important: Keep all electronic devices turned off and ritualize these mini-dates.

Not every quarrel can be avoided in a relationship, but many problems can be solved with the right tactics. Talk about it with each other. Because change brings a breath of fresh air into any relationship. Many quarrels are simply not worth breaking up the love because of it.

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Sex toy user for 5 years and blogger
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