The good news for non-romantic couples: You don’t need a lavish candlelight dinner or a super-expensive wellness weekend to give your relationship a boost.
However, this does not mean that you can put your feet up and speculate that your partnership will still be as exciting and happy years later as it was at the beginning. Above all, everyday life does not mean well for private happiness. After a day of work, household chores and other obligations, many couples who have been in a relationship for many years often fall into bed dead tired rather than on top of each other. This is frustrating in the long run.
What helps? Sex dates, for example. But let’s be honest, often even the planning of such a couple date is stressful. Especially if there are children in the relationship. But don’t worry: This doesn’t mean that the partnership will inevitably break up sooner or later. Because it’s not always the big gestures that have the biggest impact – on the contrary, it’s often the little things that make the difference.
What is micro dating?
Micro-dating is the recipe for a stable partnership. It does not mean staged proofs of love, but small appointments of a couple in everyday life. These are moments when you give your partner or you give each other full attention. Example: You’re lying on the couch in the evening. Instead of reading the sports news on your smartphone or diving into social networks, you can take your beloved in your arms or look her in the eyes, talk to her about her day. This creates closeness.
What micro dating brings?
Do you still remember the beginning of your relationship? Maybe you had little rituals that only the two of you knew about. Maybe you talked on the phone for hours, sent each other funny gifs before going to sleep, or cooked together on the weekends. It wouldn’t be uncommon if these little things got lost in your relationship at some point too. This is quite normal, but it should not become a permanent condition.
Taking time for each other and consciously focusing on the other person is the most important thing in your relationship. And that is exactly why micro-dating works. Even scientists have proven it. For a study published in the journal Couple and Family Psychology: Research and Practice, US researchers analyzed the data of 120 students living in monogamous relationships. The result: the couples who were able to consciously enjoy moments in their partnership were significantly more satisfied.
Top tips: How to micro-date?
You need inspiration on how to integrate micro-dating into your everyday relationship life? We have a few tips for you:
1. Eat together
How often do you sit together at the table and look each other in the eye or talk about your day? And how often do you sit on the couch with your plates while watching TV? Intimate dining also works at the kitchen table.
2. Going for a walk
Even a short walk around the block is enough. The important thing is that you talk or stay silent together. It is about the common experience.
3. Listening to the heart
Put your head on her chest and listen to her heartbeat or notice the movements of her chest when she breathes. It sounds simple, but it is a very intimate moment that creates closeness.
4. Look at photos
Take time to look at photos together of beautiful moments, such as the last vacation. This reminds you of happiness and makes you want to share more experiences together.
Send each other hot fantasies in between. This shows your partner not only that you think about her, but also that you still find her hot. And it’s almost certain to freshen up your sex life, too.
6. Sleep rituals
Read to each other from a good book, take 5 (or more) intense!) intense moments of cuddling or whisper sweet words in each other’s ears.
7. Write a note
This does not mean the shopping list or the daily to-dos in the household. Write little love messages again. It doesn’t take 5 minutes, but it will leave a lasting impression on your loved one.
Conclusion: Micro-dating is relationship care in small doses
If you take care of your relationship regularly, you have less work to do. Admittedly, this sounds unromantic, but it’s true. If you let everyday life roll over your partnership unchecked, you will have to make a great effort to save love later on. However, if you do something for your love happiness steadily, consciously and with little things, the big shambles is unlikely – and you and your loved one will be happier.