Mingle relationship: more sex, less relationship stress?


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You want to have fun, but can not imagine a permanent relationship at the moment? Then the relationship trend Mingle could be something for you. Here you can find out everything about being a mingle.

What is a Mingle?

They meet. They kiss. They sleep together. While this used to be the beginning of a relationship, today it is better to remain noncommittal. Often this is the beginning of an open relationship, also called a mingle relationship. “Mingle” is attributed to the Hamburg trend researcher Peter Wippermann, it is a neologism made up of “mixed” and “single”. Mingles are half in a relationship, but also half single. Something between “let’s see if something better comes along”, “I don’t want to commit” and “friends sharing a bed”. A relationship trend for the indecisive that has replaced trends like “Friends with Benefits” and “Fuckbuddy”.

How to escape the friend zone

Sex without relationship: How the mingle relationship works

Instead of meeting up with a good friend or an affair just for sex, you have a semi-relationship. “A no-strings-attached togetherness that resembles a relationship, but isn’t one. Fewer obligations and the desire to be free characterize this type of relationship,” explains Ulrike Fuchs, a personality trainer who supports people in her practice who have experienced heartbreak, i.e. the consequences of mingle relationships. Mingles are also not automatically into triangular relationships, such as the relationship trend polyamory. Those who live polyamorously love several people at the same time. Mingles want a relationship with two people, but without constraints. They no longer want to be single, but do not want to commit to love and a life together.

Why is an open relationship so easy?

The mingle relationship pretty much captures the zeitgeist. The choice of potential partners is almost unlimited thanks to the many singles portals and online dating apps. Getting to know someone has never been as easy as it is today. No matter whether it comes down to a relationship or sex. Fox: “Why choose just one pretty flower when there are so many to choose from?”The fear of getting tied down and missing out on something better is great.

For whom is the mingle relationship suitable?

People who have just been separated and are afraid of being hurt again often choose a mingle relationship. Possible reason: they can’t be alone, find life as a single person boring. So they choose a kind of rebound relationship until they are ready for something serious again. “But both would never admit that,” knows expert Fuchs. And they would also never call themselves a couple. 63 percent of men and 36 percent of women can imagine a mingle relationship, according to the results of a representative GfK survey. The trend is particularly popular among 20- to 49-year-olds. But even among 50- to 59-year-olds, one in four finds a mingle relationship desirable. No wonder, after all, in a mingle relationship, needs such as closeness and security are at least partially satisfied in addition to physical needs.

Unable to commit? What do mingles do together?

Mingles do everything that classic couples also do. Date together, visit friends’ birthdays together, go on weekend trips together and have sex together – only without commitments and compromises. It’s quite convenient when you don’t always have to sit at the singles’ table at family gatherings, isn’t it? Mingle relationships promise unlimited possibilities. Everything can, but nothing must. Not hearing from the other person for days is quite normal. And if the mingle girlfriend becomes too exhausting, you don’t even have to break up with her. After all, you’re not together, you don’t lead a life together. “It’s a form of love seemingly without everyday frustrations,” says Fuchs. 

3 reasons why you should enter into a mingle relationship

1. You do not want to commit
You prefer noncommittal? Do not want to commit? Who wants to have stressful discussions about relationships on top of the normal stress? After all, a relationship quickly becomes routine, and that’s not everyone’s cup of tea these days. At this point, it’s easy to say “bye” in a mingle relationship. An exciting job often brings with it a lot of stress. Privately it must be for many therefore rather simple and uncomplicated. “It decreases the willingness to deal with additional stress and disputes. After all, a partnership requires compromise,” Fuchs explains. 

2. You are in a phase of self-discovery professionally 

Between 20 and 30, very few people today want to make a serious commitment; they are going through a normal phase of self-discovery. Self-fulfillment is much more important than the desire for a partner for life. Many people change their place of residence frequently for studies, internships and jobs. People want to find out what they want to do with their lives, says the expert. Once you’ve decided on a career, you sign an employment contract – for a limited period, of course. Who knows, maybe you’ll find a better one in the next few years. A fixed relationship is often a hindrance. Because above all it costs time. “Mingle relationships resemble a fixed-term employment contract that has to be extended again and again.” 

3. You are looking for the perfect partner
When choosing a partner, many are just as choosy as when choosing a profession. The girlfriend should already be at least an 8 or 9. Intelligent, super beautiful, sexy, a grenade in bed, a buddy and humorous she should be. As long as she is not found, no relationship is entered into. Result: half-relationships with women you like, but don’t want to get seriously involved with. Maybe there will be a better one. 

Who is not suitable for a mingle relationship?

Not everyone can become a mingle. What is missing in a mingle relationship compared to a committed relationship is the certainty that the partner stands by you. partner stands by you. There is a lack of trust, which is elementary for any kind of relationship. This makes life as a mingle so difficult. In a mingle relationship there is less consideration and hardly any compromise. Mingle-relationship-incapable are people who are particularly jealous, hopelessly romantic or looking for something serious. Or put another way: Those who can’t separate sex and love are Mingle-unfit.

These 3 rules of a mingle relationship you should follow

Honesty is the most important thing in a mingle relationship. So what to do if a new potential partner suddenly appears? Get rid of the old one or keep it? And what happens if love suddenly comes into play?

1. Talk and create clarity
Anyone who enters into a mingle relationship must make absolutely sure that the fronts are clarified from the beginning, advises the expert. Communication is really the be-all and end-all here. You also want to sleep with others? Actually no problem, as long as you have clarified this beforehand. And even if you have said from the beginning that you are not interested in a serious relationship, you should keep a close eye on developments. Many women hope to “crack” the man and think to themselves “He didn’t want a relationship, but then he didn’t know me yet!”. Hoping for a happy ending is more deeply rooted than you might suspect, especially among women. Mingles should clearly decide what they want and communicate it clearly. Set boundaries. Sex and fun without consequences or fidelity and caring for each other? Both do not work.

2. Give an ultimatum for feelings

A mingle relationship fails when one of the partners falls in love. Fox: “Sooner or later, a person wants to know where he stands with the other person.”Anyone who develops feelings should set an ultimatum with “Either completely or not at all!” set an ultimatum before the big disappointment spreads and a relationship drama develops. Conversely, the person who doesn’t want anything more than a mingle relationship should end it as soon as she realizes there’s more at play on the other side than initial affection. Otherwise, you are doing her real harm. Therefore, always play with your cards on the table: if one of you suffers, you have to make a decision. Even though this type of relationship doesn’t necessarily require a breakup conversation, take the time to talk to her instead of just “ghosting” her. 

3. Avoid romance
To avoid falling in love with your mingle partner or vice versa right from the start, you should avoid classic romantic situations. This includes candlelight dinners, holding hands at the movies like a weekend trip to a couples hotel. The chance that someone will fall in love despite agreements is very high here.

Conclusion: relationship without constraints is not suitable for everyone

Mingles lead a relationship without constraints, a so-called half relationship without obligations and compromises. Mingles do not want to commit themselves, are in a phase of self-discovery, but also do not want to be alone. Important prerequisite: Both partners should share the casual attitude to the partnership and talk about it honestly on a regular basis. Those who are particularly jealous or hopelessly romantic, looking for unconditional trust in their partner, are unsuitable for a mingle relationship. 

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