It could be so perfect: you’re dating a great woman. But although you have a lot of fun together and send signals that definitely do not fall under friendship, it just does not want to go. Problem: The longer it goes on, the more impatient the man becomes. Because, where should this lead? You are not looking for a buddy! You wouldn’t send him ambiguous messages in the middle of the night. So: Is it worth it to continue to work hard for a relationship with the lady of your heart or is she just playing a game in which you can only lose?
Is she just playing with me?
It is not so easy to see through whether a woman is serious or just playing games with you. The following points will tell you if a woman is interested in you or if she is just playing games with you:
1. She determines closeness and distance
Sometimes she writes you 20 messages a day or stays over night, other times she doesn’t contact you for days or turns you away. This back and forth leads to the fact that you ask yourself again and again, what you have done wrong and subsequently try even harder for her. This way you give your beloved the feeling that you are being trained like a puppy by her – very unsexy! And it’s not worth it either. Because apparently she’s not interested in getting you out of the ambiguity. Because, let’s face it: everyone has 5 minutes to get back to you – even if you’re just explaining that there’s a lot going on right now. When feelings are involved, even more so! What to do: If she lets you stew longer, don’t bite right away when she throws out the hook. Or: Let her play on alone.
2. She doesn’t like to meet you in public
Date in a place where you could be seen together – no way! If she only meets with you in private rooms, hotel rooms, or at least 100 kilometers away from where she lives, she has something to hide or is ashamed to be seen with you. Something is wrong!
3. Does the woman just want to have fun?
She stonewalls when you suddenly want to have more serious conversations with her? Then she obviously doesn’t want the ideal image she has cobbled together of you in her pretty little head to become cracked. Anything beyond a non-committal fun relationship is exhausting and builds up pressure of expectation, which you probably don’t need right now.
4. Game: Is she actually taken?
Either she’s hiding the fact that she’s in a relationship or she’s making no secret of it. Both are not good prerequisites. But: There are women who get out of an unhappy relationship only by means of a new love. Therefore, her relationship status is not per se an indicator that she is playing with you. You should be suspicious if the lady of your heart does not back out of the relationship despite a budding affair with you. The likelihood that she will break up with your partner decreases the longer you play along with the game. To get certainty, you have only one option: end all romantic contact with her and see how she reacts. Yes, there is a risk that you will lose her – but do you really want to play the understudy forever?
5. Does she want to make me jealous?
She posts pictures of herself with other men or tells you about a flirtation? Either it is her way of showing you that nothing will come of you two, or she is trying to incite your interest even more. Reason: Your efforts to assert yourself against rivals make her feel even more desirable. Don’t go for it – you are not her self-confidence coach.
6. She lies to me?
Him: Why didn’t you call back? Her: The battery ran out, grandma died or boss put on overtime. Him: And the postponed dinner – maybe tomorrow? You: I’m on a diet right now. Instead of admitting she doesn’t feel like meeting, the lady of her heart finds flimsy excuses. The dog ate the homework – kindergarten! You don’t need to do that.
7. She refuses gifts
You bring flowers, bake muffins or give her something that somehow connects you. How does she react? Is she honestly and cutely happy or does she vehemently deny that it was necessary? The latter indicates that she wants to make it clear that you do not have the kind of relationship in which people give each other gifts. Means also: It will never come that far!
8. Keeps me warm?
They get along great, can laugh together, maybe even have a common circle of friends. Nevertheless, you both know that there is an attraction or even that there has been more going on before. If the lady of your heart is clear about your feelings, but she does not honestly say that there will never be more between you, she keeps you on stand-by. You ask: Why is she doing this? This can have several reasons. The most likely: she doesn’t want to lose you as a friend and finds a bit of interpersonal sizzle exciting. Is that okay with you? Then keep it up! Do you want more? Sorry, this is a one-way street.
9. What does she want from me?
You confess your feelings to her? If she does not respond, something is wrong. If she only wants a friendship or an affair with you, she will say that right now. If she doesn’t and leaves you standing with your pants down, you should back off – because: There’s no way! She either keeps you at operating temperature or is afraid of hurting you.
10. She is not aware of any guilt
You don’t have to reproach her with accusations like: “You’ve known all along how I feel about you”. Even if the woman has only played a game with you, it takes two to make a deal. The lady of your heart could just as well say: “But you must have noticed that I only want to have fun”. You see? By the way: In a relationship that is all about fun (and sex), arguing is not an option – much too exhausting! At the latest when it gets tricky, she turns away annoyed.
Conclusion: Do not jump to conclusions!
If a woman gets involved, she is interested – in friendship, in sex or in a relationship.
To avoid misunderstandings, you can both talk about what this is between you from the start. At the latest when feelings are involved, you should come out with it. If she clearly says that she doesn’t see a future, you should accept this and not put the shoe on her later that she led you around by the nose. However, if you sense that the woman is just using you to boost her self-esteem, you should back off.
- 1 Is she just playing with me?
- 2 1. She determines closeness and distance
- 3 2. She doesn’t like to meet you in public
- 4 3. Does the woman just want to have fun?
- 5 4. Game: Is she actually taken?
- 6 5. Does she want to make me jealous?
- 7 6. She lies to me?
- 8 7. She refuses gifts
- 9 8. Keeps me warm?
- 10 9. What does she want from me?
- 11 10. She is not aware of any guilt
- 12 Conclusion: Do not jump to conclusions!