Tantra: This is how an erotic massage works

Have you ever had an orgasm that really got under your skin? We mean a sexual climax that has, literally, flashed your senses. Such intoxicating climaxes are not uncommon in tantric massage.

That is why many people who have already experienced this form of sexual experience long for the erotic adventure again and again. But where does the explosive experience come from in Tantra? How is the state of ecstasy achieved and what does it feel like? We tell you what you should know about the tantric massage.

What actually is a tantric massage?

What you probably already know: Tantric massage is not about loosening your muscles. However, the most erotic of all massages can certainly loosen tensions – those of a sexual or spiritual nature. “The body is celebrated,” explains Pamela Behnke, director of the Zinnober School for Body Therapy and Tantra Massage in Zurich. “Tantric massage is for all people who want to experience their own sensuality in a dignified and respectful way,” she says.

The roles are clearly distributed: There is a giver and taker. The receiver of the massage does not touch the giver – in your case, the masseuse – but surrenders completely to his own sensations.

And yes, it is true: In tantric massage, the sexual organs are also not left out. The female sex organ is what tantra masseurs refer to as the Yoni, the penis as Lingam.

So when you are allowed to experience a classical massage ritual, your penis is also included in the tantric worship ritual. “According to the textbook, there are 36 holds for genital massage alone,” Behnke explains. But this special form of massage has nothing to do with prostitution or an erotic service.

That’s why the recipient can’t determine the course of the massage either. “Sexual desires are not negotiable,” says Behnke. “The recipient can only express where and how they don’t want to be touched,” she explains.

What is the goal of the tantric massage?

During erotic massage, it often happens that the person being massaged is surprised by the new experience. Some people report that they have never been touched so attentively before. “The body has the freedom to feel what it wants in tantric massage,” says Behnke, emphasizing that reactions to touch are highly individualized. Although the penis (lingam) is also massaged, orgasm is not mandatory. Pressure to perform or shame do not play a role.

“We don’t cut off the climax, but we don’t provoke it either,” explains the sex therapist. “The goal is to achieve a sense of well-being in one’s own body. In the best case, access is also created to the sweet orgasmic state, which is experienced completely physically,” she explains. If orgasm occurs, it is often experienced like a high. “All the cells are invigorated, full of energy. You are totally awake and relaxed,” says Behnke.

How does a tantric massage work?

On the couch, ready, go! The ancient Indian massage technique is not like a competition. On the contrary: “When you book a professional massage, there is first a detailed preliminary discussion,” says Behnke. It is clarified for what reasons the recipient comes. “This can be out of curiosity of due to physical and sexual complaints,” says Behnke. After the preliminary talk and a shower, the recipient is given the opportunity to arrive.

This means he can come to rest and build trust with the masseur. “All senses are addressed in the process. Only when they are activated are you fully engaged,” says Behnke. “It’s the same with food or in other areas. Only when I engage with something with all my senses, am I fully present,” explains the instructor. That’s why a feel-good atmosphere is built up very slowly during the massage. Then is massaged with warm oil.

“The massage reaches from the tips of the hair to the tips of the toes. Every zone is included. Unless the recipient says beforehand where he does not want to be touched,” explains Behnke. The massage usually lasts at least 1.5 hours. It takes time for arousal to develop. “Until the yoni opens in a woman, it takes on average at least 45 minutes. So a 1.5-hour massage is short overall,” she explains. The longer the massage, the deeper the relaxation.

Because the genitals are also touched extensively during the massage of the yoni or the lingam, the man may ejaculate. Massage of the anal area and prostate can also be part of the treatment, if the client feels ready for it. After the massage ritual, the recipient can rest covered and feel the massage, then get rid of the oil or take another shower. The Tantra ritual is concluded in a follow-up conversation.

How does ecstasy feel?

Imagine being able to completely let yourself go. Every part of your body is pampered. You feel the pleasure inside you slowly rising in waves. Your mind is not distracted by anything. You don’t waste a thought on everyday worries, pressure to perform or the expectations of others.

You let go completely, surrendering totally to the touch and your sensations. You feel the pleasure building up. It increases to the point that your whole body tingles electrically. Then it discharges in an explosive orgasm that shakes you from head to toe.

This whole-body sensation of pleasure is called ecstasy in Tantra. It feels different for each person. It corresponds to the philosophy of Tantra that the state of highest energy is aimed at. The feeling of happiness may be taken into everyday life.

Can Tantra improve sex?

Yes. After a tantra massage many things change. Every person has ingrained patterns concerning their own sexuality. The masturbation runs for years after the same pattern and in the relationship the sex varies at some point less and less – routine creeps in.

During the Tantra ritual the receiver gets new insights into his arousal. When couples perform the ritual together, you train to engage intensively with your partner. You go on a sexual research trip together, feel what pleases the partner. An ecstatic orgasm also increases the assessment of the quality of sex in the partnership – and that in turn fuels the anticipation for the next time.

Does Tantra strengthen the relationship?

Even outside the bed, the erotic relaxation method can improve the partnership. “It starts with being willing to take time for each other,” says Pamela Behnke. The relationship of trust is strengthened by the partners completely trusting and opening up to each other during the massage.

“Relationship dynamics that play a role in everyday life move into the background,” Behnke explains. Trying something new and gaining experience together brings new momentum to the relationship. “It’s like a honeymoon in everyday life,” says Behnke.

Through tantric massage to more self-confidence

Those who get to know themselves better can also express desires well. “The sensual experience of the tantric massage acts like an island in everyday life. One can draw strength from it. You go into everyday life in a completely different way when you feel sexy,” explains Behnke.

Understanding about the reactions of the body also leads to a more intense relationship with the self. This self-understanding becomes obvious in a more upright and posture and a more self-confident appearance.

Is Tantra also good for your health?

“More and more therapists are sending clients to tantra masseurs,” explains Pamela Behnke.

“Although the massage does not explicitly have a healing intention, the positive experience can have a healing effect,” explains the sex therapist. In one thing all Tantra experts agree: Tantra brings new energy into life.

How to find a good tantra masseuse?

You can’t book a tantra massage in a gym or an ordinary wellness temple. But where to find a suitable masseuse or a good masseur? On the Internet you can find numerous offers for tantric massages. A serious provider does not present itself erotically on its website. If very short massages are offered, this is also usually a sign of unserious work. About the Tantra Massage Association you can find a masseuse near you.

How to learn the technique of tantric massage by yourself?

Courses in which the technique of is taught, you can also find about the professional association.

“There are also couples who do not want to sit in the room with 20 other couples. Then there is the possibility to do a mini-course,” says Behnke. Books and DVDs on the subject are also available in stores.

“The disadvantage of this is that people often imitate it pragmatically and too technically,” says the sex therapist. “In a tantra course, you’re more willing to engage slowly and sensitively. After such a seminar, the penny has dropped in any case,” she says. But even if you try it at home with instructional videos and guidebooks, you can only win. The confrontation with one’s own lust leads to more fun in sex.

Conclusion: Tantra can improve sex, relationship and self-confidence

During a tantric massage you can completely let yourself go. Your body is celebrated by the massager, every part is pampered. 

The goal: an orgasmic state that is experienced completely physically.

This has nothing to do with an erotic service. The recipient cannot determine the course of the massage, but can determine beforehand where he does not want to be touched. Although the penis (lingam) is also massaged, an orgasm is not mandatory. The massage usually lasts at least 1.5 hours and can improve sex, relationship and self-confidence. Good reasons to definitely try Tantra once. 

Joshua Foster
Sex toy user for 5 years and blogger
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pamperedpassions.com
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